Waitin' For A Superman

For the first time, in a really long time, pretty much everything in my life is lining up - or at least appears to be. Fortuna's wheel is on the upward swing for ol' P. Rhea.

My classes this year - of which I have only four but which total to 15 hours - for the most part seem both interesting and achievable (a combination which I have not met yet at college). Old friends, important to my development cycle and my own Legend, have returned from their wandering, and we even played music together, and sang. That was nice. The blocks of AIESEC are all falling into place, and I've got nothing but bright hope for my LC, for the country, and now that I can work on Project01 again, for the global network. I'm finding more of the mystical and mythological in the every day and in the once-in-a-lifetime, in the moments shared between friends and in the walk to the grocery store. According to The Pyramid (and my own heart) the only thing I'm missing is Companionship and Completion.



When the random puts on Beirut's "Elephant Guns," it just about can't get better in the first half of the 16:00 hour in August - and it's sunny, and I've got Dale Carnegie graduation tonight with people, threads woven together one last time before they go their separate, albeit newly carved, ways.

Damn, these trumpets are sublime.

Voodoo Chile (Well I Stand Up Next To A Mountain)

Although it may take me forever to pinpoint just where this hero's journey began, the place I can most conclusively locate it was when I was on the Youth Council of the North Alabama Conference of the United Methodist Church. At the time, although I was certainly into something more like liberation theology than the complacent orthodoxy of most of my peers (and indeed that preached by the establishment of the religion itself), I was an eager and willing participant in this, my first serious foray into organizational responsibility. It did of course circle in no throwaway relation to the society and politics surrounding Camp Sumatanga, where the meetings were held and where the NAC held its summer camps - at which I had been both a repeat camper and a repeat counselor.

But we always discussed the circles - inner circles, outer circles, establishment. I recognized that I was on the very fringes of the inner circle, but even this placed me (at the most inclusive) somewhere in the "fifth" circle (where first is the centroid) of the society of the NAC youth, and of Camp Sumatanga. I enjoyed the experiences I had there, and the things I learned, and the friends I made. But I always recognized that there was just plain something wrong about those circles. And I could only talk honestly about that to a few people without being replied to with hurt and confusion. Inside jokes, experiences I couldn't share in or wouldn't be included in (and hardly just me), stories and legends that formed around individuals. I was out.

Maybe too by choice. I always kept my focus out of being a part of those circles, and rather on focusing on either what I had to do as a part of the youth council or simply on spreading liberation, deepening my challenges into my own spiritual beliefs and those of others, doing thankless good in the world. I wasn't playing any of those political or social games, I was just trying to do what I believed was the right thing to do.

As I grew older, neared high school graduation, and learned more about how to deal both in my own life and as a leader in other organizations, I came to recognize that my time there was over, and I began to recognize that the problem there was two-fold. One of the problems had to do with piety and organized religion, and I think no further explanation needs to go in there. I recognize that time now as a key initial point of my eventual rejection of organized religion.

The other problem had to do with the way the thing in itself was organized. The implicit allowance of politics to seep in. Some people staying longer than others, and some personalities being lifted up and preserved and others being ignored and pushed out, even involuntarily. Maybe that is what the youth council needs, but it took that experience for me to recognize the problems produced therein.

In life, my chosen path as I see it now is to be a flattener of hierarchies and an exposer of truth - even a forcer of environments where, simply put, facts kill lies and plurality prevents dynasties. When those environments exist, I don't have to take it upon myself to expose the truth or force in the rays of light from the other side of the fence. It happens already because there will be enough people to uphold that. What is key in any of those environments is for people to appreciate the open and free environment they are in so they can take their own hero's journey, for the only real truth is the truth that one learns of his own accord. See it here:

No one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.

The same holds true for anything in our lives, anything worth knowing and holding dear, or worth fighting against, or worth protecting or changing or growing or leaving.

That is why I am doing my part for AIESEC in the United States. We have already tried, as generations before us have tried, to restore pluralism and real open dialogue within the stystem. But it took those failures for people to know something in their hearts, including even me, that we should have known all along: you don't end dynasties by talking them out of the throne.

But I hope that talking is all we have left to do.

The Continuing American Revolution

Today is Independence Day for the United States of America. 232 years ago, representatives from each of 13 colonies approved an extremely radical statement that asserted independence, ended the hereditary monarchy over a subject people with suppressed rights, and set up a truly representative form of government who answered only to an ideal, not to a king or a god.

There was a bloody Revolution there, and the homeland and its ideals were well-fought for. I recognize that I am descended from men who fought for independence in that war, and defended it in future ones. It gives me some DNA connection to those events, but I also strongly believe that sort of thing is not what America is about - just a devotion to an idea.

It has been going abroad, both to Spain and through AIESEC, which has made me recognize what America is, why I like what America is at the very core, and especially that I am extremely American. I respect what I am, and so I respect that. At our core is the ideal of independence itself, the ability to live and enjoy one's life on one's own terms. Clearly I do not disdain society or association, but I do respect someone who can live their life on their own terms, someone who is one's own god and king. America does not need to press that on the world, we simply need to make it a part of the global melting pot, just as each society has its good ways.

The Revolution is not over, and it has never been over. Our state has gone through bloodshed, alienation, and a lot of soul-searching to ensure safe health standards, the feedom and enfranchisement of all people, labor rights, environmental cooperation and consideration, and many more accomplishments, and even failures. There is a much farther way to go, and it may never be over. I read an interesting article this morning at breakfast in Creative Loafing about the problems homosexuals still face in the military. That is only one place where the Revolution is not finished. We require people to show ID for domestic flights. People are persecuted over a war on drugs, not helped out of addiction. We still have a state.

I will probably dedicate a large part of my life to continue fighting that Revolution.

I did a part of it today.

Life Is Hard, You Have to Change

Today is a day of big changes. One year ago today I waved goodbye to my roommate Pepe and boarded a long, long plane from Valencia to Atlanta. Today is also the beginning of the second half of my LCP term.

Big things will happen.

Local Committe Becomes Camping Committee

11 members of the LC, plus one German alum from Braunschweig, are going camping up near Suches, GA this weekend. Plus it's the summer solstice tonight, and Masato leaves for Romania on Wednesday. Perfect timing.

Gonna Bring It On Home To You

Only have time for this much:

I passed all my classes. 2.4 GPA. All C's but one A. Still have above a 3 GPA. That is behind me now. Time to gear up.

AIESEC coming back into major focus. Went to Canada NLDC and there not only was it an amazing conference that is so much more professional than any one I've been to in the US, but they LOVED the engineering PBoX idea, which now has a name: "Engineer the Next Generation" a.k.a. Project01. It was definitely an important conference for me. Plus, the day and night in Oxford, OH was, shall we say, rad.

I plan on enjoying my classes. I plan on enjoying brewing beer in the breakfast nook, courtesy of Thomas' brother's donation while he goes to live the AIESEC dream in Costa Rica for a year. Looking forward to hanging out, in general, and reading, and catching up on some Wii (when it's rainy outside) and riding my bike. But mostly I plan on rocking the AIESEC world and AIESEC GT especially with Project01 and being a better LCP.

Warsaw Village Band Re-Discovered

I finally managed to get a hold of an album from an amazing band that played at the opening ceremony of International Congress 2006 in Warsaw, Poland: the Warsaw Village Band.


The only way I can think to describe them is "alternative post-folk, Polish." Experiencing them at the opening ceremony was so surreal. Most of the night had been the regular boring children's dance cultural exhibition stuff, and most of us were yawning for about an hour and a half. Then they came on, and it looked and felt like Mad Max collided with Blade Runner collided with 1932 rural Poland. Midway through their first song, everyone came out onto the giant coliseum floor and started dancing, and we had a wild time.


Such a wild time, when at WSC 2006 (my first conference) during Global Village I learned a traditional dance of some place that was either Turkey or somewhere in the Middle East from Juli - those are the moments which put me somewhere I've always wanted to be. It's a far cry from this semester.

The general terror of last week ended on a good note on Friday, when I was able to sign up for the classes I wanted to for the summer and make it both very productive and far easier than this horrid four months. Also, a girl from Samford University called the AIESEC office while I was in there and she had heard about AIESEC through our blogs! She wants to ride the Rocketship to Turkey sometime in the near future, and expressed interest about starting up AIESEC in Birmingham, which is something I've been interested in doing for a long time.

The home stretch begins; let's see if I can make it out alive.

EB Review Feedback

A couple of weeks ago, we did EB Review, just between those of us on the EB. It was important that we all be there together, and although two people wound up not making it - and I was disappointed by that - it was a crucial hour, held at 11 PM so that the most of us could be there.

In the interest of keeping myself personally accountable, I have decided to post the feedback I received for myself in that meeting here on my blog. It includes the comments that were made in the meeting as well as the feedback from one of our members who is not on the EB who sent it in via email.

- Use more constructive responses to frustration
- leave things at the door
- Worried school is taking too much time for me
- Check how I respond to failed expectations -> constructive criticism
- Don't get upset with people, ever!
- Point out issues I see but focus on the positive
- Be extremely clear and give and have all necessary details
- Make sure people are accountable, be a better manager
- Make sure whole EB knows our standard of work
- Better TRAINING for EB for how to plan (bring an alumnus)

The outside feedback:

"Make sure you are keeping up with each of your EB, make sure you know what is going on in every team and that you are keeping your EB accountable to your expectations, even if it makes you out to be a 'mean guy.' That has to be your role at times, don't be afraid to adventure on the inevitable negative side of leadership. I'm in support of your team building efforts, but at times I worry that they are taking away from focusing on the year's goals. In the end at a BOA meeting, the board is not going to care how close of a team you have built, but whether or not they have kept up with their goals. Don't let your EB be surprised when attacks them about not meeting goals (hypothetically of course). Hold them and yourself accountable NOW so that you can wow the board at the next BOA meeting."

EUROXPRO and On the Relevance of AIESEC

EUROXPRO was both exactly what I expected to be and then that bit more, which makes it all worth the while.

The conference takes together the Western Europe North America Growth Network (woohoo) and the Central Eastern Europe North America Growth Network leadership - the LCP-elects (I count since most people transition in about May) and MC-elects - to work together on how AIESEC's goals are coming along and how we can work together to create and increase quality exchange. This is the area I am most interested in now as LCP, and the conference mostly satisfied in its coverage of the topic.

The opening ceremony left much to be desired, and I think it might have annoyed the US consular officer who was there, as he later called Naoufel and I back and said he had nothing for us for the Global Village. After that we bussed up to the Hotel Olgino, on the Bay of Finland, where the conference was held. It was a Russian "resort," which was both fairly nice and also fairly post-Soviet, an interesting kind of kitsch to a Western viewer. The LCPes were in their own track for home group portions, which at first is kind of like "what the hell!" but actually wound up being really great. We have different issues to focus on, and the MCes had different issues to focus on. I gained quite a bit from our sessions, but most importantly I got a very real sense of the global team of LCPs, which is an empowering feeling. I firmly believe that it is the LCPs who are the true, rubber-hits-the-road leaders of the network and we have the power to do so much when we work together. How many other organizations bring students from over 100 countries together, with such diverse backgrounds but such similar interests and working goals?

The sessions in general though left a good bit to be desired. This is usually the case, and it's what I expected. "How can we focus on our 2010 goals and how can I contribute to them?" A very pertinent question, but not five times. Most others agreed with these sentiments. The LCP track was a bit more useful in general, but I was also pretty frustrated at a lot of stuff which had little to no relevance to AIESEC US, both in terms of how WENA is mostly "WE" and not "NA," and how differently AIESEC US does things especially in the way that I as a US LCP have a good bit less power than other LCPs from other countries.

To this effect, on the second day of the conference we were to fill in our Balanced Score Cards to indicate the "health" of our AIESEC country. The point here is not that we don't use the BSC; I've seen it before and understand it. The point is that during the exercise I realized just how very different the things that AIESEC US focuses on are from the things that the rest of the global network focuses on. I kind of freaked out during that part, and I was so visibly thousand-mile staring that people came up to me and asked me if I was okay. I carried a lot of uncertainty with me that day, especially coupled with the fact that AIESEC US is on "member-on-alert" status and that making the changes necessary to return to full member status takes a conscious and active decision by our national organization. This cloud, with varied thickness, hung over me during the whole conference. I feel like I have a great responsibility to connect AIESEC US and the global network, because I have a great competency with how both work (or at least I think I do) and I don't worship the leadership of either one.

The party that night was pretty good though so the largest part of the stress was taken away, and also I had some good conversations with the LCPs and people from other countries.

I also noticed something distinct about my own behavior, which I have kind of noticed before but really came out into the forefront at this conference. I tend to the the kind of person who flings myself into the giant river of what's going on, interacting with many different things in a valuable way and learning as many things from as many people as I can. If I am a part of a delegation at a conference (the US delegation, of course, but sometimes I've been in a support or working role) and I'm not the only person from that delegation then I will of course come together to check in with my delegation but in general I find great excitement, worth, and experience from going about, actively seeking out connections and experiences. This served me very well at YOU CAN! in Poland, and also at ITC since Kyle is pretty much the same way. However, when I was on the CC at IC and there was a substantial US delegation, and as well at this conference when I felt some kind of camaraderie with the UK as the English speaking types (and because Ariane was a part of their delegation) I felt a strange dichotomy. I met with Naoufel often enough, but the UK was a much more tight-knit delegation, which is okay because they were doing a very good job of teambuilding and I noticed quite a bit of the kind of chemistry between them that I felt in the team with Tiffany, Arcadiy, and Amy and myself when we were starting up AIESEC at Georgia Tech. Nonetheless, for some reason I couldn't help but feel slightly "pushed away" by the Brits, and it's not their fault; it's just some strange internal feeling. Maybe I was slightly jealous of how well their team is gelling compared to how difficult it is to getting all of my EB team together at one time. Maybe it is a subconscious desire to identify with something more common (in this case, the English language) in a sea of diversity. It was so pronounced because this was the first time I realized it so heavily. But that is the challenge which I seek, and which I sure as hell won't get being a lazy bum trying to pass his classes under fluorescent lighting in Georgia Tech classrooms.

The Official Dinner was the second-best AIESEC event I have ever attended after the Global Village at IC 2006 in Poland. The food was good, there was plenty of Russian-grade vodka, the settings were swanky, there were tons of alumni and partners, and most interestingly the two founders of AIESEC USSR spoke. It was so fascinating to hear how they went about founding AIESEC in the USSR so that they could keep it both mostly independent and yet allow its members the freedom to travel. Since it is the 20th anniversary of AIESEC in Russia (as the successor MC to AIESEC USSR) and the 60th anniversary of AIESEC, there was a very nice AIESEC cake made to the delight of all involved. There was some good dancing after that.

The LCPs had planned on having an LCP Nordic circle that evening, so we planned to snag a few unfinished vodka bottles to aid us as there are 35 LCPs. However an AI member saw us carrying a few bottles and got pretty unhappy and tried to forcefully take them away. I became unhappy at this myself, and argued that we are LCPs trying to do a teambuilding activity, and that her repeated attempts at preventing us from doing so were a very uncool reflection on the lack of respect for LCPs over MC members and AI. Finally, she relented as long as we promised to be in opening plenary the next day. Then, on the bus, everyone but me had their bottle taken up by a faci. This is when I began to get really incensed because it's not like the faci was going to turn the bottles back in to the restaurant. I was fuming pretty badly, going on to another AI member about how little LCPs are respected when we are the ones who do the real work of the organization, and how we are the future national and global leadership of the network. Finally, still angry when we return to the venue, a CC member said we couldn't use the LCP plenary which we had agreed on using for the Nordic circle. At this point, I kind of lost it and became consumed with anger. I was angrier than I had been in years, no doubt. I had come all the way to St. Petersburg, and I was already stressed by my inability to affect much connection or change because of the situation I come from in AIESEC US, and then this happens. A sincere conversation with one of my fellow LCPs helped to calm me down, and I made a point of apologizing to everyone whom I had offended. His most well-rung words were "think of how you are making LCPs look... think of how you are representing your country."

We eventually did get to have the Nordic circle with the half bottle of vodka I smuggled out, and although it only got to go around the circle once, it was a very worthwhile teambuilding effort.

Then came the last day. I realized that I had not yet met all of my networking and exchange goals for the conference (and alas, a couple of those particular goals remain unmet). But something had been on my mind for the whole conference, which has also occupied my thoughts for some time as an engineering major in AIESEC. A lot of the conference had been a discussion about AIESEC's relevance and the diversity of our TN/EP pool. I had tried to get people to understand the importance of engineers in achieving AIESEC's mission and vision, but most of them did not understand. Renewable energy, the design of sustainable devices and processes, and the open source economy all either made no sense to them or could be entirely developed and executed by managers. I was disappointed by this for most of the conference, until in the end I decided to do something about it. So at 10 o'clock the last night, twelve hours before I was to leave, I had a conversation with the AI VP Exchange. After explaining to her my beliefs about partners, engineers in AIESEC, and the lack of support for a quality science or engineering experience (outside of being a code monkey for TCS), and how I wanted to get up a project for committees which could provide high-quality engineering AIESECy EPs for entrepreneurial, engineering-based TNs in one of these subjects which could offer the EP a high level of freedom and challenge, her advice to me was "Talk to other LCs."

I was disappointed with this at first, but after a bit, I decided - I have only twelve hours, so I will try just that.

By midnight, I had gotten confirmation from Norway, Denmark, and Switzerland that they were interested and able to produce such TNs, as well as EPs in the case of Switzerland, for a project like this. We followed up the next morning, to prove it wasn't bullshit.

I was very excited about this project proposal, and I still am. I truly believe that this could be very successful not only for my LC, but that it could ultimately steer the network back into relevance and create a much-needed space for engineers and science majors. I spent some time on the plane writing the below, which will serve as the initial project proposal - it does not have a name yet.

AIESEC has become visibly a management organization. This is a kind of structured culture and expectation built upon years of facilitation in this direction. All of our partners' workshops encourage us to worship the ideal manager, at the expense of respecting the other agents in society that have the same ability described in the AIESEC Way. Conversations with AI team members show a happy reliance on this structured culture, and an admittance of the influence of our largest partners' money on some of our culture. It seems that the most likely thing for someone with a "successful" AIESEC Experience to do is to go on a traineeship for, and enter employment with, one of our global partners. Many of these skip the traineeship entirely.

As an LCP studying electrical engineering, I see AIESEC's unique relevance drying up completely if we continue to wholly focus on management and HR production, which is usually happening without a Change Agency Sanity Check (CASC). In 1948, Europe needed young people with global understanding and the ability to lead their countries with economic and commercial skills. In 2008, the world needs something else. I cannot deem myself cognizant enough to state exactly what the world needs today, but I am can say one area where AIESEC's core assets, competencies, and potential meet the global issues that require students to begin meeting those challenges now, which I can affect. It is the need for engineers and scientists who hold AIESEC's core values at heart to develop skills which AIESEC can offer and exercies them in a combined learning, traineeship, and issue-based AIESEC Experience which will challenge them as they deserve to be challenged to deliver sustainable and society-conscious change in a way that only engineers and scientists can do.

For about ten years now AIESEC has offered technical traineeships (TTs) which broadly cover "technical" intern experiences. What this means, in both numbers and to the understanding of most of the network, is "IT" internships based around coding or support. This is insufficient in its focus and challenge to achieve AIESEC's mission with its highest potential. The leaders of tomorrow want and need more diverse, challenging, and entrepreneurial experiences which will enable them to lead the development of such subjects as renewable energy, sustainable design, processes, and supply, and the rise of the open source world in physical and organizational reality. These are the crux of relevance in the coming decade, and AIESEC has the ability to focus to affect these issues through Change Agents by enabling not only those who will manage these issues, but also those who will design and execute the science of these issues.

I therefore propose a collaboration among Committees who have the capacity to produce EPs and TNs which can fulfill this need. Let those Committees with access to high-quality EPs in engineering, science, and IT who seek an entrepreneurial experience in these issues to produce them, and those Committees with access to TNs in smaller, entrepreneurial companies with a focus in those fields and a desire to give the EP more challenge and freedom raise them. I have begun this with Denmark, Norway, and Switzerland, and IGN is to follow. Early results are intended to generate a wave within the network with the goal of a committed focus on supporting the aims of this project globally.

As an addendum, sustaining this project will inject AIESEC with leader-scientists and leader-engineers, which coupled with greater realization of these TNs with these EPs will generate a positive-feedback mechanism enabling further competency development for the network in these areas. Also, our partnership pool can deepen, diversify, and become redefined. Those firms which take such EPs should be encouraged to become, if not also economic partners, idea-partners with AIESEC. This will further bring AIESEC forward in its quest for relevance and will also help to balance the large reliance and influence by our larger partners.

Maybe it isn't nearly as refined as it needs to be, but it's the best I have now. I anticipate looking upon this as a great achievement two years from now.

Live from Leningrad

I have the opportunity to post due to a free internet terminal in our amazing hostel, CubaHostel. If you ever go to St. Petersburg I cannot recommend it enough.

We have the US, Czech, Swiss, and UK delegations all here for the ride. Tomorrow begings the EXPRO. I'd post pictures but there is no uploading allowed on this terminal.

Today Naoufel and I with the Czechs walked around St. Petersburg. It was basically sightseeing, including Naoufel and I seeing two Russians drinking beer in a cafe at 09:30. The Biblical anecdote about new wine just doesn't hold here. Biggest disappointment was that we could not enter the Hermitage museum because it is a Monday, but we got a fair feel for the way city works. It is interesting how stereotypes were both resoundingly broken and also eerily understood, like when we were walking into the pub below the hostel for St. Patty's day and a drunken man tried to grab myself and my friendly Russian AIESECer guide. Fail on his part.

I hope my colleagues in Japan and Tunisia are having as good of a time as I am anticipating. You folks in Montreal too.

Final Checklist

There are a couple of things I like to have done before I go somewhere for a slightly long haul (a week or more). They include having a haircut and clipping my nails, and shaving.

I didn't have to get a haircut since I'm only going to be in St. Petersburg for a week, but I just finished clipping my nails - the last thing I am doing before writing this post, and then having Madeline graciously drive me down to the airport.

A new place, a new time. Things are going to change this week. A new trajectory will be followed upon reentry.

Them Tuesday Vibes

I finally got my Russian invitation letter to go to EUROXPROS, so tomorrow I will go and get my visa. I will also try and schmooze them into some kind of useful partnership for the LC, like facilitated visa processing for someone wishing to catch a Ride.

I forwarded the applications for the CC of IC 2008 in Brazil to the national leadership list and to the LC, and I have already gotten five emails asking for details, expressing interest, looking for reference, etc. I'm glad I could be the vector for that.

Today was a rollercoaster day. It started out pretty good when I got my letter of invitation, but then it tanked after I found out my grade on the prob/stat test I took Thursday, and when I couldn't do most of the homework I had due today in Instrumentation & Circuits, and even then, I couldn't finish the lab. It was exemplary of my reasons for loathing much about this place. But then I had a nice dinner with Laleh and Ben James, where serendipitously Willy's was selling $3.50 burritos with a college ID - only on the first Tuesday of each month. Our conversation focused mostly on facilitating exchange, shall we say.

Finally, just as I was dropping Laleh off, I got a text message from our SGA president - the bill for Laleh to go to APXLDS passed! So in the end, today was a day of balance. Too bad it was in such extremes.

I've stayed up too late to do it now, but Thursday morning if it isn't raining I'll start running again.

The Shaft

I hate to do posts like this, especially at so pivotal a time, but due to the pivotal and difficult nature of this epoch I am required to do so.

Winter Conference was cool for the people, but I felt like the planning and session quality left very much to be desired. I hope to be able to provide appropriate perspective for that. However, Southern Comfort Region did emerge closer. The ride home was funny and we ate at the Jefferson's in Belleville, IL which is also where Uncle Tupelo are from. Some people at the restaurant there had stolen my and Dave's idea; you can see me referenced at their less-than-awesome website.

The day after I got back I moved into our new place, which is really pretty awesome and well-located. We've had two parties here in the week since we've been moved in. I also started back at Tech, which is a system shock. I've grown rusty on many of the fundamental electrical-engineering concepts but I anticipate I'll be back in full swing...somehow.

While I was out I also officially transitioned into LCP, which technically occurred as I screamed "Auld Lang Syne" at the conference over a YouTube karaoke video into the house sound for all the AIESECers present. I also had a nice SoCo circle a few hours beforehand to toast the year.

I got food poisoning early the morning of the second day of school, probably from school sushi, and it was so bad that when I stumbled into the health center after somehow surviving my first class that day and skipping the second they immediately stuck an IV in me and emptied it into my veins. For about 36 hours my entire diet consisted of saline, water, and about a third of a bowl of ramen forced down over a period of an hour. I recovered by Friday but I had missed valuable productive time.

Homework will be my bane. I will survive.

The Hero in P. Rhea

CAMPBELL: Myths inspire the realization of the possibility of your perfection, the fullness of your strength, and the bringing of solar light into the world. Slaying monsters is slaying the dark things. Myths grab you somewhere down inside. As a boy, you go at it one way, as I did reading my Indian stories. Later on, myths tell you more, and more, and still more. I think that anyone who has ever dealt seriously with religious or mythic ideas will tell you that we learn them as a child on one level, but then many different levels are revealed. Myths are infinite in their revelation.

MOYERS: How do I slay that dragon in me? What's the journey each of us has to make, what you call "the soul's high adventure"?

CAMPBELL: My general formula for my students is "Follow your bliss." Find where it is, and don't be afraid to follow it.

- The Power of Myth, "The Hero's Adventure"

When I read this passage in The Power of Myth, they struck me down. It hit me as if begging me to let it be my John 3:16, my Preamble, and the foundation of my Mantra. It is exactly what I have been seeking, the description of what I have been trying to metaphorically relate to my friends about what I am searching for - I used the term "lifequest." But here it is the soul's high adventure. My heart beat about as fast as it can without making me pass out as I read over it again.

Live the Dream. Follow your Bliss. Solar light. Slaying the dark things. All of these threads are coming together at the perfect time - when in less than two weeks I will be back "on track," even though I never left the Path. I just got off the train for a while.

It was especially pertinent because this was the first Christmas in which I voluntarily did not participate in communion. I knew I was not going to, having concretely decided to pick up my sentiments and organize them months ago when I read that there was no record of George Washington ever taking communion, and even having denied it on occasion. Of course, although I believe in the Author - Newton's "clockmaster" - this book, along with inklings in the Ishmael trilogy, has made me think significantly about the importance of a kind of ritual and mythic understanding in my life in a serious way. While my own currents were coalescing around me, I thought of two distinct and important parts of my life that have been described by others, for others, as religion - Alabama football and live concerts.

Football is so popular in the South, not solely for this one reason, but certainly most directly and mythically - the Alabama vs. Washington Rose Bowl game of 1926. Ever since Reconstruction, the South was (and has been) maligned by the economically and influentially dominant North, which was really just fanning whatever flames were left from the Civil War - and prejudice against Southern culture smarted extra-badly when the poverty and ruined infrastructure of the South after Reconstruction was taken into effect. The underdog of Alabama upsetting Washington for the Rose Bowl championship united the entire South in this one thing that they could manage pride for, and the SouthEastern Conference of the NCAA continues that pride to this day. It was that foundation of pride and myth that spawned great import and figures, most notably the coach Bear Bryant and as his symbol the immediately recognizable houndstooth hat he wore, which has become to Alabama fans what red is to Socialists. (Crimson is also like that to Alabama fans). There are ritualistic qualities in a football game, especially one which you attend on a regular basis: it is split into quarters, with music coming at halftime, and the cheers you repeat are designed to get everyone on the same page. "BAMA" shouted by 80,000 people sounds like "Amen" chanted by 100 if you are in the right state of mind. You always hold four fingers up at fourth quarter, because "the fourth quarter is ours." If you come often enough, you hold season tickets and always sit in the same place - just like sitting in the same pew at church. And as with any established religion, orthodoxy, heterodoxy, and all kinds of arcanities and submyths are built up - legends like the Van Tiffen kick are retold side by side with factions of agreement or anger over the administration's banning of the Rammer Jammer cheer, which can either be compared to the Council of Nicaea's state-enforced declaration of the homoousia of Jesus and the Father or the decisions and fallout after the Second Vatican Council. Finally (though not exhaustively), if you switch your allegiance to Auburn not just in heart but in practice, your family and friends will literally undergo the same kind of feelings and actions that are undertaken when a tribe or sect "shuns" its members for heresy or breaking the law of the land. I like Alabama football and Georgia Tech football, but I always thought - and think - my mom screams too loud when we are just watching on TV.

Concerts - shows - gave me more serious thought. Duane Allman once said "Music is my religion, and it never hurt nobody." Butch Trucks, in defense of his former bandmate, described the Skydog as "Messianic" in his effect on those around him. People wouldn't make fun of heads for talking about seeing God and the universes colliding while seeing a Grateful Dead show if they didn't mean it in the first place, psychoatively aided or not. I was raised on the Allman Brothers Band by my mother, which also drove me pretty deeply into the blues I have come to share with Atlanta when I was the host of the Friday Night Fish Fry on WREK. I also, thankfully, had a musical mind that was probably first molded by singing in church, as is the case with many Southerners, Methodists especially. But my true consciousness was not awakened until I saw my first Widespread Panic show at Oak Mountain Amphitheater in the destroyed Medina of Panic shows: Pelham, Alabama. Like the Dead, thousands of young people disillusioned of what their parents had in store for them and empowered by (if not drugs) the sense of freedom they had on the road with their fellow Spreadheads would dance and "worship" at the shrine of Havin' a Good Time. In fact I do not even know why I put worship in quotation marks. It was worship, of the same type that most any congregation that does not bow before idols participates in around the world in any manner of toungues, names, traditions, and divine aims. It was different every time. The ritual was most founded in the reliable structure of a good show versus the way many acts play their concerts. A Panic show is an hour-long first set, followed by twenty to thirty minutes of setbreak to get your beer on, and then a second set that lasts anywhere between an hour and two hours, followed by the requisite exit before the encore, and always (in those days) at least two encore songs, if not three to cap off a heady three-night run. As in any "respectable" society of worship, what you wore mattered - don't get caught with official swag, get Shakedown Street T-shirt gear. My favorite was my "Action Man" T-shirt. If you are in tune as you should be, then your emotion will sway with the quality the band is producing. I had seen someone on a message board describe going to shows as their own worship service, but until I read The Power of Myth I never considered it potentially valid. I definitely found something there for me, but not everything I need.

Then, there are finally the ideas that have come to me as a result of the incredible people in AIESEC around the world. These are the ideas that are beating away the faulty parts of me and most effectively encouraging me to reexamine myself and my Mantra. I never knew people consciously and presently living as heroes and legends until I met AIESECers and AIESEC alumni, and now here I am, drawing out the hero in me. Time and trial will bring about my ritual and my own relation to the Myth, and I am confident in my honesty to myself. I will never stop following my Bliss so I can live the ultimate Dream.

Also, I am kind of proud of my picture of my girlfriend enjoying the Hobohookah on Christmas Eve being a part of the Hobohookah holiday greeting.

Kampf

The AIESEC US Leadership Team Meeting occurred this weekend in New York City. I had many waves of differing expectations for it: the ultimatum meeting, the desperation meeting, the opportunity meeting, the just-another-worthless meeting (kind of like the just-another-worthless US election).

Ultimately, I was very frustrated by the meeting, as were most students there. Luckily (if my spider-sense hasn't failed me), the deep-seated issues of mistrust and "versus" began to be eroded, thanks in largest part to Missy's general change of modus operandi in comparison with her predecessor. She is actively trying to create trust and participation rather than deliver ultimatums. The frustration however came from the entering mistrust and the format of the meeting itself - a large plenary with a single straight agenda, in which there is no way that everyone manages to have even a single comment for the duration of the weekend. People pay what it takes to come up to NYC and then are infuriated by the definite lack of their input, because that format just doesn't allow for that. I felt it very much and began to get kind of demotivated by it, but I think that based on some conversations that were had at a remarkably affordable BYOB Cantonese restaurant called Phoenix Garden a model to reshape the leadership team can be implemented with the right hand-shaking. There was more frustration on some people's parts as they were brought in a separate small meeting to talk about their frustration in the meetings according to the comments they had made - I would say, rather, that it was because they exhibited leadership in the room. The weekend did end on a positive note with a sweet new financial system unveiled, and the creation of a committee to deal with "how AIESEC US relates internationally." I am on that committee, of course, and it will turn out to be a significant thing I hope.

I had to deal with some problems in my team today as well, but those will have to be explained later.

New York, for its own sake, was a great time. It is so much better than Atlanta in every way (except in the general prices, it devoured my wallet). It was great to stay with my old friend Mischa in Astoria and to see friends from around the nation currently in AIESEC as well as Dagan, who I hung out with a good bit especially on Saturday night. Friday I arrived at a fresh 9:10 AM into LaGuardia, from which I took the M60 to the Astoria Blvd. metro stop on the NW and rode that horse into Manhattan and got out at the Plaza Hotel right next to Central Park. After wandering for a bit I called my West Coast people who I knew were in town since 6 AM, and they came to meet me in the park. We then had a decidedly unauthentic Italian lunch in Little Italy, the girls went shopping while Colin (LCPe Bay Area) and I had a couple of pints at a local cafe-bar and talked about everything from his time in Norway to IT systems (he is a software engineering master student). We then checked out Ground Zero, followed by a ride up to Midtown to meet Dagan and sit at some random restaurant-grocery store where you can basically sit and buy nothing. Then at 9:00 it was off to Dallas BBQ for Emily's 21st, and I have to say I was impressed both by the size of the margaritas and the quality of the "wings" (actually real Southern fried chicken). Then myself and Sarah S. and Colin went to a pub in the Lower East Side called the Blind Pig to have one beer, which turned into more, and I went to bed at 5.

The next night was less crazy, but equally fun. Several of us, after dinner at the Cantonese restaurant, went on a lifequest and eventually found, after two false prophets, a bar called simply "Karaoke" on Avenue A. A fun time was had by all as we tried the local Brooklyn Lager and waited a worthy hour-and-a-half for me to sing "Sweet Home Alabama," and Shannon and I sang "Beast of Burden," and Sarah arrived just in time for everyone in the bar to sing "Don't Stop Believing" with Amanda. After that high point we walked in search of someplace quieter and found an amazing Afghan place called Khyber Pass with great ambiance and, most importantly, shisha. We closed the place. Needless to say I am exhausted from all of this because I got in at midnight on Sunday.

But tonight I was glad to hang with a currently domestic nomad, none other than Burbs. He was in town for an HIV/AIDS conference and we had a great evening of conversation about people and experiences and communities at Mellow Mushroom and then the bar next to Slice. It is always excellent to mind-meld with the great people that inspire you and your vision from time to time.

Am I Buoyant

I stand now in a locus pregnant with possibility, but the shores of the absolute are growing ever closer in this ship I've taken over the last year and a few months. The Fox is a done job, my last night was Saturday and my coworker and I had a good old time at Midtown Tavern afterwards. This week has been full of work with AIESEC, not least of which has been the privilege of close conversations with the head of the presidential Team of AIESEC US: Missy, the MCP. Understanding was forged in those unique moments, a beautiful testament.

Furthermore, the Web 2.0 face of the LC has arisen from the Tubes: The Atlanta Blog. Expect elevation, excellence, and the building and maintaining of rep.

I fly out really early for New York on Friday morning. I'll have all of Friday to myself and a nice birthday shindig for a friend that evening. I hope we can begin to rebuild the culture that we have let founder in the rough seas. The sun shall rise one day.

Culture Generation

Yesterday was my Executive Board teambuilding day. Everyone on the 2008 EB had committed to go, which was too good to be true. Sure enough, thirty minutes before we left Atlanta on Saturday morning I get the call that Bryan, my future VP Infrastructure, is mad sick, and completely incapable of even moving in his bed. But the other six VPes and I still made that trip out to Leesburg, Alabama, for a day of getting to know each other and planning for the year ahead.


It exceeded my expectations far beyond what I could have believed them to be. Even for what little time we did planning for our team, it was the most efficient meeting I have ever been to in AIESEC (except the German conference meetings which trump it all, but then again, they are German). The personalities that came together and the visions that clicked and the words of action, not deliberation, that were spoken gave my soul a big-ass jump-start on AIESEC in general, and especially for the Georgia Tech LC. I contrasted it with the ebb of motivation that has been going on, our low(er) conference registration numbers, the sometimes defeatist attitude in our leadership team meetings, and I see a bright and shining sun charging on the horizon, that is our Executive Board 2008 and a new era.


At tonight's leadership team meeting, my heart just about exploded out of my chest when I was offended by the stark contrast between yesterday and today's meeting. I value everyone in our leadership team. I found - and find - myself wishing I could sweep it all away though and begin with January 1. That is a hard confession to make, but that is how I feel, and that is what this outlet is about. Life with others is not about sweeping things away however, and we will all be better for working towards January 1 in the current situation because you learn more with challenges like this. I learned that a long time ago, and dammit, I just keep on learning it harder and newer.

It is three days before National Novel Writing Month 2007 begins and I have done no plot or character outlines.

Letter to Atlanta LC: An Entreaty to Apply for the Executive Board

Hey AIESEC!

This is Preston, your Local Committee President-elect of AIESEC at Georgia Tech for the year 2008.

Charlie has sent out the EB applications and appeals to sign-up already, but if you have not done so yet or are hesitating, then this email is for you.

Most of you have been in AIESEC for less than a year, but even for many of you who have been around longer than a month you have seen the overwhelming power of the AIESEC network. You have worked as a salesperson or external relations agent in a real business (that is AIESEC GT!), networked with some of Atlanta's top political and business figures, begun a push to use the AIESEC network as a platform to develop a project or initiative that you have created, and even experienced the wonders of local, national, and international conferences - some of you have probably even gotten a meal and a place to stay from Europe to Japan just because of your AIESEC network.

Those stories are proof that AIESEC, unlike so many other student organizations, is not a place where only seasoned veterans can take ownership. AIESEC is designed for you to develop yourself, and you can ask anyone in AIESEC who knows me - I am a firm believer in providing as many opportunities as possible to as many members as possible, regardless of their life experience or their AIESEC experience.

The thing I want to get most out of my time in AIESEC is to be a part of the perfect team. The perfect team is one where everyone not only understands their role and their place in the team, but where they are so empowered and impassioned by the work their team can do that the constituent individuals and their interactions with each other and with the outside world are able to create a sum greater than the whole of its parts. The opportunity has now been laid in front of me to be a part of the perfect team: the Executive Board of AIESEC at Georgia Tech for the year 2008. I want you to be on that perfect team.

If you feel like you can create legendary projects, turn AIESEC into the most powerfully networked organization in Atlanta, and/or use your creative and interpersonal abilities to motivate individuals to utilize our platform to change their lives, you should apply for the EB. If you look back at your GT career thus far, even if it has only lasted two months, and think about your place in this school and in your major and in Atlanta and the greater world and can't help but say "there's something missing," you should apply for EB. If you are hesitating because you think it would be a cool idea but aren't sure that you could do it with classes and other obligations you have, you should apply for EB. And don't even begin to think that just because you are new applying would be a futile effort - on the contrary, I specifically am looking for a mostly-fresh EB, because if I've learned anything in my time in the network, it's that the results and enthusiasm are highest for those who have to work the hardest due to a potential difference (kind of engineering terms there, but it means that YOU have high potential and the job has high expectations, so putting you in that position generates high results!)

On the Brink of Madness

Today was supposed to be the first planned event - the opening plenary - for the Congress Committee, but they postponed it to tomorrow morning so that people who aren't here yet will be able to participate. Today was not a fully free day for the Marketing team, though. We made our promotional team video. I'm technically also supposed to make a presentation about myself with pictures and music and all, but I don't know if I'll have the ganas to tonight. Plenary is tomorrow at 9 AM.

I went to bed at about 1:30 AM, after meeting everyone who was here and giving Tiffany (who I've finally seen again after six months) her care package from our LC and her glasses. She got me a sweet tapestry from Kenya. I felt like a jerk for not having bought anything particularly special. I was awoken at 11:50, still way jetlagged and exhausted, with a call to be in a Marketing team meeting at 12:30. This wasn't planned! But luckily it was just unofficial orientation and planning for making our teambuilding and CC promotional materials. I imagine the video will pop up on YouTube someday.

The cafeteria here at the university (Yeditepe) serves pretty good Turkish food. This is good, since the place in Warsaw last year was really not so good, especially that one time when we all got sick after two bites and had to go to the pizza restaurant across the street. It's hard to know much about the food though because Turkish is not an easy language, and I'm not exactly going to learn it in a month. It all rests on the mighty reputation of the doner kebap.

After lunch was filming until about 5, though Tiffany and I and some others had plans to go to a place to smoke some shisha (nargile in Turkish). Our plans were foiled regularly until after dinner that night, when we finally went ourselves. The place we intended to go was closed, and a nice man had his young 7-year old daughters show us around the neighborhood to find a place that was open. After two strikes, we found a good place at the edge of the neighborhood. Since no one who said they would come could contact us to find this new place, we were alone. We had a good, long catch-up conversation, along with our usual conceptual developments in thought. The shisha here is the strongest and best I've ever had - much stronger than anything I've ever had in the US without a doubt. Also, we quit smoking after an hour and a half and I thought my head was going to fly away, but the same bowl was still going strong. Efe, from Turkish Cyprus, told me that the bowls here usually last two hours. We also had two chais, a Turkish coffee, and a soda water (her bad idea) between us, and with the nargile it only cost 13YTL - about $10. Not bad, Istanbul.

We then went one place down to sit with some other CC members, who had piled in without our notice. There was more smoking, and we met some new people who had arrived that day. During our stay there, three policemen came in and demanded to see all of the ID cards of the Turkish patrons of the cafe. When I asked Efe about it he said "get used to it, it's Turkey." He said they can do that without a warrant or anything, and they do it often. On the way back to the university I saw two dogs copulating.

I applied for an MC CEED in AIESEC in Ecuador, which I'll find out if I get that Monday. If I don't have an electrical engineering job by August 14 (which I'm doing everything to get - I got another possibility in Izmir in Turkey for the fall just from being here) then that looks like the best option.

I'll be able to blog more regularly while I'm here, I think - and since the days will be full, challenging, and fun, that will be a fruitful task.

Directing a Sauerkraut-and-Wurst Western

Chairing was a great experience. Like all great experiences, it did not go according to plan, but then through some good Gerald R. Rigging and teamwork combined with legendary German efficiency, a successful time was had by all - including me.

Let's start with arriving on-site in bustling (with cows) Helmarshausen just in time to start the scheduled conference team pre-meeting at 5. Unfortunately several facis were not yet there, and to top it off, neither was almost any member of the organizing committee - which was made up entirely of newies, 4 weeks or less into their AIESEC eXPeriences. This was because the original OC had quit the job about a month before the conference, which lost vital planning time and funding contacts. The OC, which was supposed to arrive on-site at 2, arrived at about 9:30. I had made the choice to postpone the team meeting until everyone was there so that we could have an appropriately engaging experience. The Regional Support Team representatives did however read the OC the riot act when they arrived. The poor guys hadn't even assigned roles to themselves, other than the OCP.

The faci meeting "get to know" part which I made up consisted of only two parts, the first of which was long due to how many people we were: partner up with someone you don't know, get the other person's name, LC, area of study, a story they are very proud of, and a story they are very embarrassed of. Naturally, after five minutes the partners introduce each other to the whole circle. Only a few people gave appropriately embarrasing stories, others unheadily copping out by saying "I don't have any embarrassing stories." Bad team vibe. The second part was something that I gleaned from an experience many years ago (many thanks to Howard Hanger and his extremely liberal ministerial ideas, which are in fact so liberal that they have gotten him defrocked from the United Methodist Church), and was facilitated by the fact that there was a piano in the room. After doing a note-check by having the team do a "do-re-mi" along with the piano in the key of C, I instructed them all to choose in their head a random note,
independently. Upon bringing my hands down, they sang their note - a cacophony of Germans. But after about thirty seconds, the group started listening to what the people next to them were singing, and as they altered their notes slightly, a sound harmony was produced. It wasn't quite as forceful or of as high quality as those good old shoutin' Methodists, but it worked - bringing together in harmony from dischord. Unfortunately I think that we were already so late and the earlier exercise had taken so long that the effect was muted. The meeting continued with expectations, etc.

I worked all weekend with the OC during my free time, since I had OC experience and they had not even experienced an OC working for them before. I helped them prioritize and organize into roles, helped them with how to communicate effectively to meet expectations of the facilitators, etc.

Thirty minutes before the opening plenary, it was discovered (as it often occurs) that there was no appropriate cable between the laptop(s) and the sound system. This almost always happens at smaller conferences, and of course should have been expected in this case with a new OC. It required a stereo minicable with an adapter to either a regular quarter-inch cable or an L/R setup. To top things off, only 20 delegates had arrived, and we had decided in our expectations on the concept of "Who's not in is out" - if you are not in a meeting on time then it's your responsibility to catch up, because the meeting is starting without you. With something like the
opening plenary however, it is important to make a big impact of excitement and anticipation, which is hard to do with just 20 delegates. I was charged with the decision to honor "who's not in is out" or to postpone the plenary by some 30 minutes to wait for more delegates to arrive. The OC told us that in five minutes (ten minutes after plenary should start) a bus would
arrive, but they did not know with how many delegates. I decided to wait to see what the number was here - if it was enough (about 25 more delegates) then we would go ahead, if not, we would wait until 3:30, thirty minutes late. Luckily, the bus was full of Frankfurters and other assorted Hessian mercenaries, so we began the plenary. It opened with a powerpoint
presentation, which included the theme song from "Bonanza," since that was the name of the conference, reflecting the concept that it was in Germany's Wild West region. The powerpoint had to be moved between laptops, however, and of course this caused a problem. Not only was I compensating by holding the microphone to the laptop's puny speakers, but now in the transfer the link to the song was cut. With delegates fresh in their seats and a well-designed powerpoint by one of the OC members starting up, I did something that only an American could do: I began to improvise the recognizable melody from "Bonanza" with my voice. I did it just on a whim, the silence having pressed in on me, since everything that goes bad is of course my fault as chair. Luckily, it was a hit - the delegates clapped along for the entire power-point, and I slipped into beat-boxing before finishing with the voiced melody again. I got positive feedback on that red-button decision. Score one for 'Merica.

Immediately after the opening plenary I went with the OC to diligently find the cables and converters we needed, in a nearby picturesque town. We got the minicable at Radio Shack-like store, but the converter was in the possession of the shop's owner, who was on site on a boat on the river. Luckily it had not left shore yet, so we walked over and got the converter from him. The parties were saved! It would be no good to dance to no bass and low volume.

Overall I had a great and challenging experience, and looking back over my feedback I only had one "stop" - starting the faci meeting late, which was my decision but I think I made it for the best - a lot of "starts," understandable since this was my first chairing gig - and several "continues," so I'm glad for that. Thank you Germans!

The last evening in Frankfurt I had a solid conversation with Claudia, my excellent and accomodating host, who had been LCP of LC Frankfurt-am-Main three years ago and is on the Regional Support Team - an experienced AIESECer. Over a nice weißbier near her apartment, we turned to the meat-and-potatoes that those of us who have zipped around the network are wont to consume (and cook differently) - I aired some recent thoughts, coming off of my discoveries at ITC about why certain people join AIESEC in the "cultural spheres" around the world. They had developed into the concern that AIESEC, though it desires to create change agents for positive leadership in the world especially through entrepreneurship, it often partners with very "status-quo" organizations that are pretty entrenched in our system, both through capitalism and a bureaucratic type thing - and they often become the employers of AIESEC alumni. She relayed to me a story of a former German MC member who went on to become upper management in a large company that is a partner of AIESEC internationally, with the intent of crusading to affect their system and morph them into a true organization of change. Instead, he lost contact with most of his old friends, worked harder than a dog, and was instead defeated by his own zeal. Claudia said her mother had told her that the system will always change you. It's unfortunate but apparently very true - the difference, for example, of AIESECers in Local Committees and AIESECers in Member /National Committees is almost always very stark, and it seems to be the ones in the LCs that affect the most change both in their communities and in their own lives. I wish it weren't this way - in the spheres of the world that are centralized, you clearly have to go to the Source to affect change. How does it work that way when Ronnie Reagan's "trickle-down" or "something-doo...voo-doo economics" didn't and don't work? The answer lies within I suppose. It's a section of the agenda on which I am focusing strongly.

As an afterthought, have you ever been flying nice and high, realizing things will be delightfully smooth sailing with some good mini- and real- sized adventures ahead, and then you realize what Joe Cocker meant when he said "Slowly my mind and Dream turn into woe," when in the span of about an hour many small trains collide at the same point? Nothing major at all, but I've got minor stresses clawing at some of my best-laid plans. That's the mark of personal leadership, though - executing Plan E as well as you would have executed the first four, or executing a letterless plan as well as Plan E when it fails. This assumes five plans. Which you have already planned.

I Am a Hot Dog

I arrived this evening in Frankfurt and have been entertained over a beer by the overworked OCP for Bonanza, the conference I am chairing, and Claudia, former LCP with whom I am staying this evening. I have written down the conference goals and expectations in my notebook but that´s it so far. I expect an experience of winging it quite a bit, but I expect to be challenged (positively) on all fronts because this is Germany. I learned the art of facilitating from a German (thanks Maike) and it was a much more thought out and planned method than I would have intuitively developed. I expect an even greater similar challenge here. I go in a man, and I will come out a man who has been a chair. Given the theme of the conference they will have an extremely unusual opportunity to learn from a native what a rebel yell is.

Same as the Old Boss

At YOU CAN! in Poland, during Polish Night I sat across from a girl from the mainland of China. The conversation turned to censorship and its acceptance in China, and she told me that she thought that it was good that the Internet and publications were censored. She said that the government knew what was good for them, and so she trusted their decision.

This concerned me quite a bit, and was an unusual thing to hear especially from an AIESECer. I have just read this article on the BBC about life in modern Russia, and it has the same kind of concepts from the mouths of ordinary Russian citizens. Why do people willfully submit themselves to an unchecked authority like this?

Scraped Away like Rotten Cheese

A familiar tension has taken a hold of me. I walked tonight to go to Friend's Doner-Kebab, because it's the best in town and because the 25-minute walk to it was needed to clear my head and my nerves. I reflected on the paseo. I haven't felt a feeling like this since the fall of 2005 - when I found the answer to my terrible loneliness and boredom in WREK and AIESEC. Now, with just over a month left and a final on the way, I feel that loneliness once again.

It's not homesickness, although I sincerely can't wait to see my friends and family again. Rather I feel like the Americans here have disowned or abandoned me, be it deliberately or through the crime of accident. Since Friday I've had almost no real social interaction, and that gets to me, especially when I've now got to study for this final. I specifically asked one person on Sunday afternoon: "If you do anything tonight, please call me because I'm really bored." The response was "Will do." They went out and did not contact me. Maybe it's just because I'm from the South and am around people who are "sincere" at best and "polite" at worst, but that just ain't right.

As I was walking, I recalled the challenge of ITC: Be authentic. Focusing on that phrase - much like someone from back home might have told me to repeat the name of Jesus over and over - washed and renewed me. I thought: If they happened to ask me what I thought, at least I'd tell them exactly how I felt. Bullshit gets too heavy to carry.

Luckily, I've got an itinerary that's in my favor. My only exam is on June 5, and Chris Foulon from the US/Belgium, whom I met at ITC, will arrive in Valencia on his Eurotrip on the 7th. We'll experience Valencia and Madrid together, and then it's only a coupla days before I go to Germany, immediately after which is San Sebastián, immediately after which I look forward to a visit from Johanna and Claire for a festival in Valencia, and then only a week remains left of the Dream - at least, this chapter of it.

On a possibly unrelated note, this is pretty deck. Although I've heard the "wallpaper" bit before on OLED.

The answer to the answer-man

My plans to take on a padawan to become a new nomad have been scuttled - for now. The moriae can keep my sister away from the world outside Alabama, but they can't keep the world away from my sister. The skills will be passed on when they will.

Today was the 30th anniversary of Star Wars, the great mythology of our time and for our time. I watched The Star Wars Holiday Special, generally considered to be the two worst hours of television ever produced. You both need to watch it and need to avoid it - all great mysteries are painful dichotomies.

I have always been interested in the archetype of the ship upon the sea. It was quite pronounced when I was in Gandia, where the Erasmus students and a small smattering of pensioners were the only inhabitants during an 18-degree January (that's Celsius, 'mericans) and the port was right there, beautiful, inviting, and playing the strings of latent mysticism. There's something fascinating about getting on a ship on the river and/or ocean and having it like being on a road that takes you to anywhere around the world. I think I would have been quite fine as a ship captain back in the auld days of exploration. My current dream - the absolute greatest gift that anyone could ever get me, no exceptions - would be a dirigible, preferably in a configuration kind of like what they used in Final Fantasy VI. Around the concept - I don't remember if it was Dave or Shaun - was created the phrase "Dirigible Pirates of the Sky." Talks about creating a concept musical act continue.

I am forging my future for my greatest tasks - the German conference, IC, and research abroad - and it's a heavy but giddy load. I balance it with going to a bodega with Vidar for some San Miguel Extra "Nostrum." It was only €1,40 per caña. That's a good price for a pretty good beer. Others went to bingo tonight, they did not contact me. I'm glad, mostly. More important things, like watching the two worst hours of television ever produced.

I must ask, where the hell is the hope from the pre-9/11 days? I'm talking of course about pre-9/11 music, which is personified (or at least "flagshipped") by the Verve song "Bittersweet Symphony." You all remember it, and when you listen to it today, you'll realize just how much our culture has changed around that date. If you still have wax in your heart and mind and brain, then you might want to run not walk over to this webshite.

If you want hot wings, you go to the Anchor Bar (unless it's Jefferson's of course). If you want slow-smoked pork ribs, you go to Dreamland. If it's horchata you're after, you go to Daniel in Alboraia - which is where I went today after Pepe, Davinia, and I had szechuan chicken en casa and I remarked on the horchata de mierda in the fridge, when they recommended we hightail it about three kilometers to the north to the mecca of chufas. I had the most delicious horchata that probably exists, a mixta which is kind of ice on the verge of melting like a slush-formation, with fartons made on-site and warm. I'll definitely return before I exit the Kingdom, but if you find yourself stumbling into the Comunitat, make a stop-off at this Ka'aba of Xufa.

I'm currently on the fence about it, but I'm pretty sure I'll take the plunge to attend the Primavera Sound festival in Barcelona; a quick glance at the lineup will reveal why. Then it's my only test and the adventure of June.

Lady finger, dipped in moonlight, writing "What for?" across the morning sky,
Sunlight splatters, dawn with answer, darkness shrugs and bids the day goodbye.